Can You Hear Them?

We hear them almost every day. Lies. Falsehoods. Untruths.

They seem to sneak in like uninvited guests, and try to get our attention. Moreover, they try to get us to agree with them. You may have heard some of them before:

‘No one will ever know”

“She just doesn’t get it”

“I wish my wife was more like….”

“Viewing a little pornography won’t hurt anything”

“I can’t live like this. I need someone who will make me happy”

“Things will never change”

“I’m such a failure”

Yes, we have all heard them….and thousands more like them. Our enemy is a relentless liar, accuser and deceiver. If he can get you to agree with one of his lies, he can get you to question things, excuse things, rationalize things and act on things – that you shouldn’t. This is exactly what happened to Eve. She looked, she listen, she pondered and then agreed with what he said. She eventually acted on her agreement and ate the forbidden fruit.

We are no different. None of us is too strong. None of us is exempt. Mightier men have fallen to the schemes of our enemy. Proverbs warns us – “ABOVE ALL ELSE, guard your heart”. Above ALL else is a pretty strong phrase. This must be pretty important. A warning from God to each of us. Peter also reminds us to “Be alert”, because we have a deadly enemy prowling about.

If we are to lead victorious lives; successfully lead our wives and children and leave a lasting legacy that glorifies our God – we must stay alert. Every day, throughout the day, we must guard our heart (mind) from the lies and schemes of our enemy. We must acknowledge that we are each capable of falling, and are therefore desperate for a close walk with the Shepherd. Only by His side are we safe.

Isolation will kill you. Seriously, God Himself spoke that “it is not good for man to be alone” If He said it – it is true. Don’t walk through this war zone alone. Stay close to Him and close to your fellow warriors. We need each other.

Success? We can’t stop the thoughts from coming. What we can do is “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ“.(I Cor. 10:5). We must not ever agree with the lies spoken to us by our foe. Keep your mind in God’s Word and know the truth. That truth WILL make us free, and allow us to live life as He intended – abundantly.

Find a mentor,

Huz

Bearing Fruit

We all want to our lives to bear fruit. We all want our lives to count for something. The older I get, the more I think about that. I wish I had stopped to consider that more often as a younger man. My awesome three sons are fantastic fruit, for which I am eternally grateful – but God calls me to more. A successful career? A fat retirement account? The dream home we’ve always wanted? What fruit is God calling us to?

I absolutely love John, chapter 15. I can always go there and find encouragement and direction. As I pondered it recently, I heard God specifically say that Christ’s words also apply to my marriage (and the others we get to influence). Here is a summary:

1. He is the only source for life and nourishment for my marriage. I can produce no life or nourishment on my own (as a branch), no matter how hard I try.

2. My primary task is to choose (daily) to abide (settle in, stay) in Him. If my marriage is to produce any lasting fruit, it will only come as a direct result of abiding in Him and allowing His life to flow through me to my wife, children, grandchildren and others.

3. The result of choosing to abide is that my marriage will produce “much fruit”. Not just a crabapple here and there – but much fruit. This is a promise from Jesus Himself.

4. My primary responsibility is not to learn new principles to live by, or zip through a quick daily devotional – but to choose to engage Christ and allow Him into every aspect of my life. This is not a one-time prayer, but a continual choosing. I am to cling desperately to Him, and trust Him for the results. The Pharisees knew the law, but did not know the law-Giver, the Person, the Shepherd.

5. If I abide, and allow His Word (written and spoken into my spirit by the Spirit every day) to dwell in me – I have complete confidence that my prayers will be answered – because my desires will come in line with His desires. The key word is “IF”, because I have the option to abide or not; to draw near or not; to listen and follow, or not.

6. The primary reason for marriage – to bring glory to God – is accomplished by our bearing much fruit. Others see the fruit of Christ’s love in our lives and our marriage, and see a living replica of Christ’s unconditional, serving love for His bride, the church.

7. I am responsible for the health of my marriage and my family. Rather that wringing my hands in worry, or worse yet – giving up because I can’t figure out how to make everything work out right…. I can choose to stop trying to do it in my own strength and focus on staying attached to the Source of everything I need…..Jesus.

Our marriage will be as fulfilling as our walk with Christ.

Have a fruitful week……….

Huz

Damage

During the middle of the night Thursday night, several tornadoes ripped through our state and caused massive amounts of damage and killed several people. Today, the clean up and the grieving begin.

This past week, I have spoken with two men, both professing Christians, who have been married many years and love their wives, but who are in the process of beginning a cleanup of their own. Each has been found out. Their respective wives have discovered their husband has been deeply involved with pornography and/or seeking sensual satisfaction with another person.

Both wives have received massive damage and it will take many years to repair it. The initial debris can be cleaned up rather quickly and most will never know the damage has ever occurred. The real damage, however, is quite extensive and will take God’s restoring grace and time in order to heal. Shock, sadness, hurt, betrayal and anger are only a few of the many emotions these women are dealing with.

The Bible clearly tells us that “married people will have many troubles in this life” in I Corinthians 7. Most of these troubles are no more that high winds and some thunder. Occasionally, you may encounter an F-0, or F-1 storm that causes some minor damage, but with some kindness, forgiveness and love shown, can easily be cleaned up and become a thing of the past.

These two men have allowed an F-5 twister to completely rip through their homes. Neither wanted it to happen, but neither had the self-control and deliberate walk with God to derail it. They, like far too many husbands in our Christian world, have become complacent and passive in their walk with Christ, and their relationship with their wife. They didn’t wear their armor. They didn’t guard their heart. They didn’t follow the Shepherd. They didn’t resist the devil.

They chose poorly.

When you have to make a choice

and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.

~William James

How deliberate are we as followers? How deliberate are we as husbands? Will we draw near to God and enjoy His presence, wisdom and power all throughout the day today, or will we limp through a quickie devotional and then go about our merry way? W ill we put on the whole armor of God, and wrestle against the principalities, powers and spiritual forces Jesus told us about – or walk through our day in our underwear, wielding a pocketknife?

We live in a world at war. We “wrestle not against flesh and blood”, but against a seasoned enemy who is hell-bent on the destruction of our lives, our marriages, our children, our witness, our ministry and our heritage. What we choose to do – every single day from here on out – matters a great deal. It matters for eternity.

God’s glory is at stake. Please guys – don’t become a victim. Don’t bring the twister to your family’s home.

“Rise up O men of God; be done with lesser things”

Huz

A Real Man

Men hate to be lost. We hate even more to admit that we’re lost, and (heaven forbid) have to ask for help.

What is it in the soul of man that has trouble admitting we don’t know something or can’t do something? Maybe we got that as a result of the Fall in Eden. Maybe we grow up in a family or culture that trains us as little tykes that “men don’t cry”, or show emotion, or that it is simply not manly to not know where you are, and where you’re going, at all times.

This could be one possible reason – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RBYgEZqrJs

There is something deep in our soul that tells us that we are weak if we don’t know, or can’t do. We will do almost anything to keep from appearing weak, so we stubbornly press ahead. It is hard for us to ask someone else for help, and even harder to let someone else lead us. We resist following. Most of us would much rather be in the lead. Personally, I hate following cars, and especially trucks, on the freeway. I feel like it is my God-given right the get in front where I can see, and where I can set the pace. They should change driving laws to allow for that.

A major battle looms in our life every single day when we open our eyes. Who is in charge? Who will I listen to and follow today?

Our “default switch” is automatically re-set to “ME” every morning of our lives. Our natural, selfish, sinful tendency is to live life on our own terms and in our own way. Jesus tells us that real life (the life we really want) is to be experienced to the fullest if we will deliberately switch the default to “OFF” and choose to follow Him.

Living the  Christian life seemed rather simple to Jesus. When asked “how do we do this”, Jesus responded with an easy three-step plan. Deny yourself (default switch), take up your cross (die to your independence/pride), and follow Him. Simple enough. He also said – my sheep hear my voice, and follow me, and – follow me and I will make you fishers of men. A disciple, in Jesus’ day, was a follower. A Christian was to be a Christ-follower.

It’s not about trying to live a better life, or being a good boy. Being a follower of Jesus means exactly that….following. Staying close enough to hear what He is saying, and then choosing to line up behind Him and trust that He is leading you to great and wonderful places. Since we have this propensity to lead out, and a natural aversion not to follow – we deceive ourselves thinking that God wants us to charge ahead, living our life on our terms, and then ask Him to “be with us”, and “bless us” along the way. Somewhere we heard the old lie – “God helps those who help themselves” and so we do our man-thing, and run off through the pasture, all the while hoping the Shepherd will rescue us when we get into trouble.

Who is leading today? Who is following?

We live every hour of every day with either our face toward God or our back. We get to choose.

Real men ask directions…. every day.

Could it be time to pull over and ask?

Huz

Enjoy the Rain

What emotions do you feel when you ponder this picture?

I can almost feel the warm rain. Not that “it’s cold and I need to run inside” kind of rain, but that rain that feels good on your skin…warm…nice.

I am actually jealous of these two buddies, just sitting around in wet clothes, enjoying their day to the fullest. It’s been a while since I just walked (or sat) in the rain. It’s been a while since I laid down in the cool grass and just “wasted” some time watching clouds drift by; or went for a long walk all by myself.

Remember that feeling of not having to hurry somewhere, or meet anyone, or get back in time for something? Those were the times I remember being able to think, to really ponder the things swirling around in my mind. The closest I get to feeling those times now is when I am traveling. I have some time all to myself in the car. If I choose, I can turn on the radio and occupy my mind with talk or music. Another option is to roll down the windows and just harken back to the good ol’ days of cruising with my friends. The wind roaring through the windows acts like some sort of sedative by blocking my swirling thoughts, and actually allowing me to think.

Seems like my mind is so full these days. There never seems to be any time to just sit in the rain and truly, deeply enjoy the silence. God lives there you know. In the silence; in the quiet places where we seldom walk. He waits for us to turn off the noise and just sit with Him….no agenda…no activity…no deadlines. The cool thing is – we can go there anytime we choose to. We can turn things off, and schedule time to enjoy those quiet times….if we want.

Psalm 23 reminds us that our Good Shepherd leads us to “green pastures” and “still waters” if we will follow Him there. He even reminds us that He will “restore our soul” in those places. Couldn’t we all use a little soul-refreshment; a little still water in our life?

It is up to us to deliberately carve out time from our hectic life – to sit on the dock, in the rain and just relax. We can go there, and enjoy His presence, and feel the warm rain of His love –  anytime we want.

Let’s try it very soon………………

Huz

Life As A Sheep

Why did Jesus compare His followers to sheep so often? Why not bulls, or lions, or something a little more substantial? Sheep? They can’t find their own food, water or shelter. They can’t defend themselves. They eat grass. They’re  just pretty uncool.

Then it dawned on me. The stories were more about the Shepherd than the sheep. Sheep need to be shepherded. They have to have someone who will lead them to food, water (still water actually because they will not drink from water that is running) and shelter every day. They have to have a shepherd who will protect them from harm. They even have to be led to pasture where they can rest. Without a loving, devoted shepherd they would certainly die.

I used to be a little offended at being compared to a sheep, but now I am very proud to be someone who is dependent on the Good Shepherd for life. Another lesson from John 10 and Psalm 23 is that it is He Who will make me lie down and rest; He Who will go before me; He Who will lead me to still waters and restore my soul. He will lead me in righteous paths and protect me with His very life. What a wonderful Shepherd!

It seems like He is doing all the work, so what is my responsibility in all this?

I am told to simply listen (my sheep hear my voice) and follow (and follow me). If  I will do whatever it takes to stay close to Him every day, listen to what He tells me to do, and then do it….. I will learn what it is like to enjoy His promised “abundant life”  (John 10), and experience a life where, “I shall not want” (Psalm 23)…. knowing that “nothing and no one can snatch me out of His hand“.

Let’s stay close to the Good Shepherd this year and be amazed as “goodness and mercy follow us every day“. We’ll also become much better husbands…..

Baaaaaaa,

Huz

Intimacy…2

Our last post touched on the need for Devotion as a key component of intimacy. For your wife to truly experience (feel) intimacy with you, she has got to know that you are “all in”. Knowing that you are committed to her for a lifetime, no matter what, will anchor her emotional foundation and allow her to focus on other things….. like you.

In addition, she needs to experience your Deliberateness as her husband, shepherd and leader of your household. In the same way you must become a deliberate Christ-follower if you are ever to experience the abundant life promised by Jesus, your marriage will never be what you desire it to be until you choose to become a deliberate husband. Enjoying a fulfilling, intimate relationship with your wife won’t happen on its own. It won’t happen just because you attend church, or go to small group, or even attend a marriage seminar and take good notes. Good intentions won’t do.

I Corinthians 9:24 – Do you not know that all those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize. Run in such a way that you may win.

Most men I know are very deliberate when it comes to their hobbies. They will spend hours working on their deer stands or duck blinds and training their retriever, or hours at the driving range or attending golf lessons to correct their awful slice. Many try to stay in shape (or get there in the first place) by working out diligently at the gym or on their bike. To be good at these things takes hard work, time and money.

Are you running the marriage “race” to win? Are you working hard to be the marriage partner your wife desires, and that God requires?

When my oldest son was in elementary school, his private Christian school was often needing to raise money. Twice a year they would hold a “jog-a-thon”. The little kids would seek out donors to pay a small amount of money for every lap they ran around the jog-a-thon track.

Every kid who ran in the jog-a-thon received a “participant” ribbon, whether they ran one lap or a hundred. No one’s fragile personality was harmed as they all got a ribbon. One kid, however, received special recognition (and a trophy) for finishing first (running the most laps). You guessed it, my son could have cared less about being a participant – he wanted to win the thing. It didn’t matter if it was bitter cold or sweltering hot, he would run around that huge parking lot until he was declared the winner. We still have those little trophies in our attic today.

 Each of us is a participant in marriage, but are we putting forth the effort to win?

Your wife knows. God knows. And, you know.

Another real key to experiencing intimacy in your marriage is for your wife to see you investing significant time and effort in your relationship with her. She needs to know that she is truly your #1 priority in this life (see I Cor. 7:33 and Romans 12:10). If you want a wife that is “in to you”, and attracted to you – you need to be “in to ” her and attracted to her – as a person and friend – not just when you want to satisfy your sexual needs.

If you will become a deliberate husband, a student of your wife (her needs, fears, hopes, dreams, etc.), and be willing to put every other priority, hobby, project, work, etc. behind your desire to know her and spend time with her – you will find a wife who is delightfully attracted to you. Hard work? Absolutely, but the “prize” is well worth it.

Remember – men experience intimacy by having sex, but your wife needs to experience intimacy before she wants sex. A huge part of her feeling that, is her seeing your devotion to her and your deliberate efforts to be the best husband you can be.

Don’t be content with a participant ribbon.

For His glory,

huz

Where are Your Fish?

       It must be human nature. We seem to have to try our way first (and sometimes second, third, etc.) before we finally get frustrated enough to get out of the way and let Jesus tell us what to do. Something in us rebels against trying His way first. We know in our heads that His way is the best way, and yet we insist on trying it our way. I have come to the conclusion that, for me, it is simply a matter of trust. Do I really trust that His way is THE best way for me? Do I trust His heart to ALWAYS lead me to a better place? Do I really believe that His sovereign will for my life IS better than the one I imagine for myself?

In marriage, this tendency is played out every day. Did God really created this one and only woman for me (or could there have been another)? Does He really expect me to “love her as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”, when He knows full well she is SO hard to love sometimes? Does God really have an adventure-filled mission for my wife and I together, even though I can’t see any signs of it now?

Being a husband, provider, protector, shepherd, lover, friend to a single woman for a lifetime – is a seemingly impossible task. How do we ever figure it out? How do I do this, and do it well? There are so many other important things pulling at me every day – my job, my future, my friends, my health, my enjoyment, my retirement, my advancement, etc., etc.

I love the story in Luke, Chapter 5, of Jesus’ encounter with a group of rugged, rednecked fishermen. Read this again –  When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered and said, “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing, but I will do as You say and let down the nets.”

When they had done this, they enclosed a great quantity of fish, and their nets began to break; so they signaled to their partners in the other boat for them to come and help them. And they came and filled both of the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus’ feet, saying, “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!”

These guys, who knew their craft well, had fished all night long – and caught zippo. Here comes Jesus, a carpenter, and He tells them where to fish. Can you imagine their first thoughts? In spite of those cynical thoughts, they tried one more time, and did what He said. Wow – what a different result. Not just a dozen or so fish – which would have been lesson enough – but a boat load!

If we could ever get to the place where we asked Jesus “where to fish” in the first place, and then obeyed what He said, we would see His abundant provision in our lives, and in our marriages, like never before. Jesus never does anything half-way. They needed fish – they obeyed what He said – they got so many their boat began to sink. God is a God of abundance – a God of extravagance. He promises to do “above and beyond all we can ask or even think” if we will but trust Him.

What are the needs in your life and in your marriage right now? Where have you been “fishing” for answers?

Trust God and His goodness. He desires to shower you with His kindness, His love, and His provision. He knows where to fish, but we have to ask, and obey, in order to see our boat filled.

Try Him first this time. 

Huz