Enjoy the Rain

What emotions do you feel when you ponder this picture?

I can almost feel the warm rain. Not that “it’s cold and I need to run inside” kind of rain, but that rain that feels good on your skin…warm…nice.

I am actually jealous of these two buddies, just sitting around in wet clothes, enjoying their day to the fullest. It’s been a while since I just walked (or sat) in the rain. It’s been a while since I laid down in the cool grass and just “wasted” some time watching clouds drift by; or went for a long walk all by myself.

Remember that feeling of not having to hurry somewhere, or meet anyone, or get back in time for something? Those were the times I remember being able to think, to really ponder the things swirling around in my mind. The closest I get to feeling those times now is when I am traveling. I have some time all to myself in the car. If I choose, I can turn on the radio and occupy my mind with talk or music. Another option is to roll down the windows and just harken back to the good ol’ days of cruising with my friends. The wind roaring through the windows acts like some sort of sedative by blocking my swirling thoughts, and actually allowing me to think.

Seems like my mind is so full these days. There never seems to be any time to just sit in the rain and truly, deeply enjoy the silence. God lives there you know. In the silence; in the quiet places where we seldom walk. He waits for us to turn off the noise and just sit with Him….no agenda…no activity…no deadlines. The cool thing is – we can go there anytime we choose to. We can turn things off, and schedule time to enjoy those quiet times….if we want.

Psalm 23 reminds us that our Good Shepherd leads us to “green pastures” and “still waters” if we will follow Him there. He even reminds us that He will “restore our soul” in those places. Couldn’t we all use a little soul-refreshment; a little still water in our life?

It is up to us to deliberately carve out time from our hectic life – to sit on the dock, in the rain and just relax. We can go there, and enjoy His presence, and feel the warm rain of His love –  anytime we want.

Let’s try it very soon………………

Huz

PornEffect 1

Most men who dabble in pornography convince themselves that it won’t effect them or their marriage.

After all, I still love my wife.

Yes, the vast majority of men will admit to still loving their wife and being committed to their marriage. They truly believe that this practice, whether random or habitual, will not do any real harm to either.

Researching this for another project, I am flooded with evidence to the contrary. Let’s take a couple of posts to explore some of the many effects pornography has on you and your marriage…

Boredom / Disappointment

Men are easily bored, in many ways but most especially sexually. Having sex in the same place, in the same way, at the same time, etc. – gets boring. We’ll take it, if that’s all there is, but deep down we admit it seems very predictable and that’s not very exciting.

The primary lure of pornographic movies/videos is the erotica. Things are not boring. The lights are on, the woman is desirous of her man, and the long interplay of sexual activities that follow are anything but boring. When a man watches this, a deep sense of loss accompanies the  tidal wave of emotions that he feels.

“I wish my wife wanted me like that.” “I wish she enjoyed sex like that, and responded to me that way.” There is an agreement we make that “Oh well, I’ll just settle for what I have.” So, the next time you get to have sex, in the same place, at the same time, in the same way – it seems even more boring. Happy to have it, for sure, but comparatively – ho hum.

This mental wrestling match leaves us feeling disappointed. No, we’re not disappointed in our wife necessarily. We love her. She looks just great. She is great. You don’t want someone else….. you just wish you had a little more erotic in the bedroom.

The more we justify that we “need” pornography as an escape – the more it wears away at us, like termites gnawing away at our very foundation until one day we will find ourselves with a much bigger, deeper problem. The more we let these images into our mind (Satan’s primary battleground), the more termites we invite over to the house, and the more bored and disappointed we will be with our wife.

She is too special to God to be treated this way. Turning off the images is the only way to begin to restore the excitement we once had  – only with our wife.

This is one major way we can love our wives “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her“.

Huz

Passing By

Getting older is a pain. Really, a pain. Pains that I never used to have in places I never used to have them. I honestly wrestle with mixed emotions alot these days.

Yes, I’m closer to heaven than I once was, but I also feel a sense of regret, or loss. What have I really done? What has my life really stood for? What will be my legacy? Will it matter to anyone when I’m gone?

Seems like several times a year now, I read an obituary or find out from a friend that someone I know has passed away. Dang it, they seemed so young. Once again I feel that anxiety in my soul…. what are you doing with your life? What are you going to accomplish for Jesus before you go home? How much time do I have left to do it?

I often wonder if I would have done more if I had known back then what I know now. I honestly don’t know. I want to believe that I would have done more, been a better husband, father and Christ-follower.

This I do know. Being a husband matters. Being a Christ-following, wife loving husband matters alot. It matters for now and for eternity. It matters to your wife, your children, their children, their children, etc. – and it matters to those around you who are watching.

They watch in hopes of seeing what a healthy, happy, fulfilling marriage looks like. Well over half the married men you live life around are unhappy in their marriages, and longing to know what a healthy one looks like. Your marriage matters!

Mainly, being a great husband matters to God. We are a reflection of His covenant love for His bride, the church. People should be able to look at us and see a reflection of how Jesus loves His bride unconditionally. We have a uniquely awesome opportunity to show other men how Jesus loves, forgives, serves and cherishes His people as we seek to do the same for our wives. We won’t ever do it perfectly, but God will use us in huge ways as we make progress on our journey.

Life is quickly jogging by us. Let’s not miss another day of walking with Him and learning how to be the best at this husband thing…..

Your marriage matters,

Huz