Marriage = Happy

I married the woman of my dreams, and she will make me happy. Happiness is the goal of marriage, right?

One of the lies that undermines and destroys marriages is a lie we have all heard, and many have believed. God wants me to be happy, and so he brought me together with this woman to accomplish that goal. We hide our true intentions behind the veil of “getting married to make our wife happy”, but deep down our honest expectation is that she will make ME happy…..isn’t it?

God clearly spoke, “It is Not Good for man to be alone”. But He did not follow that statement with, “I will make a helper, suitable for him who will make him happy all the days of his life”.

Don’t get me wrong, God wants us to be filled with joy, and enjoy an abundant life. Jesus said He came for that. Our true joy and fulfillment, however, does not come from our wife, or our financial success, or even our ministry success. 

It comes from our personal, daily relationship with Christ Himself.

Psalm 4:7 – You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.

Psalm 16:11 – You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Joy (happiness) comes from God. The 2nd fruit of the Spirit is “joy”. God never intended for our wives to be our primary source of joy and happiness in this life. He is our source. He has given us ALL things to enjoy. When we get our eyes off of Him, and put our expectations on our wife, we will be disappointed (as will she). She is sinful. You are sinful. We will let each other down.

There is One who will never disappoint, or let us down. Only by seeking His presence each and every day, will we ever find true happiness and fulfillment in our marriage. He created marriage and He knows exactly what we need to make it a smashing success. We need more than just saying a prayer in Sunday school as a kid. We need Him. We need to know Him, personally, and walk with Him daily.

The ultimate purpose of marriage is not our happiness – but His glory. If we make that the daily pursuit, our marriage and our life will overflow with true happiness.

I Corinthians 10:31 – Whatever you do, in word or deed, do all for the glory of God”

Your marriage matters,

Huz

Damage

During the middle of the night Thursday night, several tornadoes ripped through our state and caused massive amounts of damage and killed several people. Today, the clean up and the grieving begin.

This past week, I have spoken with two men, both professing Christians, who have been married many years and love their wives, but who are in the process of beginning a cleanup of their own. Each has been found out. Their respective wives have discovered their husband has been deeply involved with pornography and/or seeking sensual satisfaction with another person.

Both wives have received massive damage and it will take many years to repair it. The initial debris can be cleaned up rather quickly and most will never know the damage has ever occurred. The real damage, however, is quite extensive and will take God’s restoring grace and time in order to heal. Shock, sadness, hurt, betrayal and anger are only a few of the many emotions these women are dealing with.

The Bible clearly tells us that “married people will have many troubles in this life” in I Corinthians 7. Most of these troubles are no more that high winds and some thunder. Occasionally, you may encounter an F-0, or F-1 storm that causes some minor damage, but with some kindness, forgiveness and love shown, can easily be cleaned up and become a thing of the past.

These two men have allowed an F-5 twister to completely rip through their homes. Neither wanted it to happen, but neither had the self-control and deliberate walk with God to derail it. They, like far too many husbands in our Christian world, have become complacent and passive in their walk with Christ, and their relationship with their wife. They didn’t wear their armor. They didn’t guard their heart. They didn’t follow the Shepherd. They didn’t resist the devil.

They chose poorly.

When you have to make a choice

and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.

~William James

How deliberate are we as followers? How deliberate are we as husbands? Will we draw near to God and enjoy His presence, wisdom and power all throughout the day today, or will we limp through a quickie devotional and then go about our merry way? W ill we put on the whole armor of God, and wrestle against the principalities, powers and spiritual forces Jesus told us about – or walk through our day in our underwear, wielding a pocketknife?

We live in a world at war. We “wrestle not against flesh and blood”, but against a seasoned enemy who is hell-bent on the destruction of our lives, our marriages, our children, our witness, our ministry and our heritage. What we choose to do – every single day from here on out – matters a great deal. It matters for eternity.

God’s glory is at stake. Please guys – don’t become a victim. Don’t bring the twister to your family’s home.

“Rise up O men of God; be done with lesser things”

Huz

Gardening with God

Before God created Eve, He placed Adam in a fabulous Garden environment, and told him to “work” it. Other words translated “work” are “tend, “care for” and “husband”. God placed Adam in a working/learning laboratory in order to train him how to be a good gardener, or “husbandman” – before he was ready to husband a wife.

Each day Adam would inspect the lush Garden plants and determine whether they needed water, food, pruning, etc. in order to make them grow to their full capacity and produce an abundance of fruit. Cool thing is – God was right there with him every day, instructing, training, and I’m sure – encouraging. What a great place to work! Doing what God created him to do – and partnering with God in every detail of it.

As a husband, you already know where this is going….

God created each of us to be a husband, and to be the husband of one particular and peculiar creature – our wife. He hand-crafted each of our wives specifically for each of us. No other woman on this planet will do. This is the “garden” He has deliberately placed us in. This woman is the “garden” we are to husband. Our primary goal in life (after our intimate walk with Him) is to “please our wife” (I Cor. 7). We are also exhorted by God to be “devoted to her” and to “honor her above ourself”, according to Romans 12.

God has placed you in your wife’s life as her one and only caretaker and husband. No gardener/husbandman would allow harmful pests into his garden; or neglect to give his garden precious food and water.  He would be extremely careful not to damage any growing fruit, and to be kind and gentle in the way he handles it.

I am sad to admit that I have often neglected the precious garden He has placed in my care. I have made her go without nourishment from me, have allowed harmful “bugs” into our environment, and have even mishandled what God was growing in her life, with harmful words, neglect or harshness.

Men – we have been giving a calling. We have been chosen by God (just like Adam) to be married to His chosen woman. And, we have been called, and commanded, to love her as “He loves His bride, the church”. I want to simply remind you that God’s plan is SO much bigger than “what’s for dinner”, or “what are we going to do this weekend”. We are on a holy mission. We are called to be “husbands” – to tend, to love, to care for, to be devoted to —– “this woman you gave me”.

Let’s help each other become better gardeners. Let’s encourage each other to stay close, every day, to the Master gardener, teacher and friend, Who will train us, guide us, encourage and love us along the way. Let’s pay closer attention to her needs, fears, and dreams. Let’s get our hands dirty for our wife’s sake, and for the sake of His glory.

Huz