As I camped out in Matthew 26 recently, I was grieved by the thought that my life is filled with Judas-moments. Times in my life when I too, have betrayed (let down, denied, failed, deserted) Christ in my life. As I sat in the stillness, it seemed He brought back time after time when I have turned my back on Him, and turned my face to other things.
Like Peter, I was confident that my faith in Jesus would never fail, and my walk with Him never falter. But, as only a loving Father can do, He reminded me of my weakness in the face of temptation, and way to many incidents of apathy, selfishness and greed. I want to view myself as having graduated from these things, but He alone knows me at my deepest level. He knows my heart, my inner motivation, my core.
He clearly spoke to me also, that the reason for this object lesson was not to shovel huge piles of guilt on me, or to shame me into trying harder – but, to remind me how very much He loves me. In spite of my warts, my lack, my nature, my sin – He completely and passionately loves me – regardless of my performance. Once again, I am blown away by His extravagant love, and patience with me. I break His heart much too often, but He continues to pursue me, woo me, want time with me, forgive me, and call me. What an amazing Father.
Sadly, we all have our price. It may be money, but it may also be momentary pleasure, self-gratification, selfishness, pride, lust, achievement, greed, apathy – or a world of others. I have stopped shaking my finger at Judas. I am more like him than I would want to admit.
Romans 8: 1-2 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.