Research is clear – men who enjoy a satisfying sex life at home are far less tempted to view pornography than those who do not. PornEffect 1 was not intended to say that every married woman is sexually boring, or that every married couple suffers from a boring and mundane sex life. To the contrary – a great number actually report they enjoy a very fulfilling sex life. These posts are simply to point out some of the damaging effects viewing pornography will have on a marriage.
If you view pornography occasionally or habitually, you set yourself up for disappointment at home. (Effect 1)
In addition to this latent dissatisfaction tormenting their minds, men will also begin to feel something else taking place.
As Christian husbands there will be a tremendous sense of guilt that follows this kind of activity. Guilt will bring a dump truck full of shame along with it. Why did I do that? Stupid! I’m an idiot! What if she knew? What if other people knew? Am I even a Christian?
You will most definitely experience God’s loving but firm conviction for your sin – but in addition, your enemy make it his mission to torment your mind with guilt, shame, accusation, fear, doubt and a host of other toxic emotions. His goal is to render you powerless and ineffective – to steal your joy – and especially, to ruin your marriage and your life.
Feelings of separation are to be expected when men deliberately turn their back on God, and their wife, in order to simply indulge themselves in self-satisfying behavior. Pornography is a close relative of alcohol, drugs, gambling and other self-addicted habits that Satan uses to “kill, steal and destroy” (john 10:10). Feeling separated from your wife is a natural consequence. You feel as if you have cheated. You wrestle inside with guilt and shame – and you promise yourself that was the last time.
The Bible says in Genesis 2, that Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. They were completely naked with God and with each other. Physically, yes – but in every way. There was nothing between them. No secrets. No shame. Nothing to hide at all. They were completely transparent and open. There was no separation. They could look deeply into each other’s eyes and not feel the slightest twinge of shame or guilt.
Pornography robs marriages of oneness. Being one, as God created and intended, is damaged every time a man turns on that movie, or clicks on that website. The only path back to oneness is to become desperate and deliberate. More on that later……
Indulging in pornography destroys the very thing a man wants in his marriage – oneness. Closeness of heart, mind and body are all damaged as a man chooses to separate himself from his walk with God and with his wife by indulging. Isn’t it time to take back the ground in your marriage that the enemy has stolen? Don’t let him continue to steal from you and separate you from the oneness God intended for your marriage.