This Year Will Be Different

Yes, it will. Won’t it? I want it to be. I wish it to be. I even pray that it will be.

So, what has to happen in order for it to actually be – different? How will those extra pounds go away? How will my marriage improve? How will I make that extra money I want?

I have a long list of wants. Some of them have crawled their way over to the needs list. Many times I seem to pay more attention to the needs list, and those things somehow get done faster. If my doctor tells me that I need to drop 10 pounds to avoid taking blood pressure medicine, or I need to start walking 3-5 times a week if I want to be able to enjoy a healthier retirement lifestyle – I tend to find the time and emotion required to pull it off.

Most of us are creatures of comfort. We like our routines. There is an eerie comfort in doing things the way we have always done them, or simply the way we like them done. One of my sons ate a bologna sandwich every day in high school for months – just because it was easy, he liked it, and he didn’t want to try anything new.

What are your patterns? What is the bologna sandwich in your life – or your marriage? When does a pattern become a rut? Am I living in a rut?

The best way to tell is to abruptly change it. No more sugar in my coffee. No sweets for a week. No TV for a night (please God, not longer than one night). Then you can tell is something has seized control over a part of your life. It’s scary actually, and I really don’t like it…cuz I like my routine. Maybe I’m in a rut.

Is your marriage in a rut? Have you stopped to ask? How determined are you to make it better? Do you have a plan for reading books, attending classes or seminars, meeting with a mentor, etc.? Or, are you expecting  improvements to simply happen while you are enjoying your routines?

How will your marriage go from “okay” to “good”? What about going from “good” to “great”? Chances of either happening greatly improve if you are moved to become a deliberate husband. Make the plan; share it with someone who will ask you how that plan is going; move it to the top of your daily planner. No one can do it but you. No one (not even God) will do it for you.

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice – William James

Here’s to breaking out of marriage ruts. Here’s to a different year. The best year for our marriages ever…….

Huz

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About Rob

Married to my high school sweetheart for 40 years. Blessed to be a frequent speaker at marriage and men's conferences, retreats and seminars. Author of 4 books on marriage. Check out resources at allinmariage.org.

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