We make them every year. Whether we admit it or not, we all make our personal resolutions, goals, plans as we enter a new year. What would I like to do better this year than last? What would I really like to accomplish this year? There are dozens of them. We may tell everyone who inquires, or just keep them to ourselves, but they’re there.
This wouldn’t be a blog for husbands if I didn’t write about resolutions that involve us and our marriages. In doing so, I want to offer three for your consideration:
1. God commands each of us as husbands to “love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. Choosing to die is hard. Choosing to give your life up (your agenda, your plans, your “me” time, those things we feel we deserve, etc.) is death…but that is what He is saying. It is not just a holy suggestion for us to consider; it is a command from God and if we selfishly dig our heels in and say “no, I won’t”, we are shaking our fist in God’s face.
Try this – simply ask your wife to write down (don’t have her just tell you or you’ll forget) three ways you can show your love for her better this year than last. You don’t have to elaborate or explain – just ask her to write them down. Then, no matter what she writes down – take them to God and ask Him to help you do them this year….without expecting anything in return. ..simply as an act of obedience to Him, and whether you feel that she deserves them or not.
2. Pray about and pursue a mentor this year. Find someone older than you that has a marriage relationship you admire. Ask him to meet with you periodically to specifically talk about marriage ups and downs and get his wisdom, experience and insight. You will make great strides in your marriage if you step out of your do-it-myself mode and enlist the council of a friend.
3. Work on your own walk with God. The best thing you can do for your marriage is to walk closely with Him. He tells us in John 15:5 that without Him, we can do nothing – zip, nada, nil. But, somehow we keep trying to do it our own way and settling for an “okay” marriage. If you want a great marriage, a great sex life, and a wife who respects and appreciates you – then work on your own walk. Regardless of whether she changes, or responds differently – your walk with Him is your #1 priority. Trust Him to work on her.
Your responsibility is to walk with God. Only you can choose to do that. If you decide to – He has promised to “make you” into the husband, father, etc. you long to be.
My prayer for me, and for each of you this year is that we choose every day to – walk closer to Christ and, be deliberate husbands.
Forgetting what lies behind, let’s press on toward the prize…..