Been There, Done That

At a recent men’s retreat, we did an exercise where one man is blindfolded and walks with another man (not blindfolded) across fields and through woods. The blindfolded man holds lightly to his partner, while listening closely to what his partner tells him about the landscape the are walking on.

“Step up”. “Watch out for….”. “Be careful here”. These are a few of the warnings voiced by my partner. I had the choice to follow them or just do what I thought was right, but the wise thing to do was obviously follow the advice of the partner who could see where we were going.

Sadly, most of us don’t have, or take advantage of, those husbands we know who have walked for years where we are just starting to walk. Yes, it is a little awkward to ask another man to spend time with you and mentor you in this fine art of husbanding. The benefits, however, are similar to those I experienced as I listened to my partner at the retreat.

We truly are blind as we enter into marriage, since none of us has been there before or have much of a clue how this is supposed to work. A mentor can give us invaluable wisdom about what to “watch out” for and “be careful” of. He can offer his wisdom and counsel, and even challenge us with hard questions about our walk with Christ, and our relationship with our wife.

If you are still flying solo – it’s time to pray about, and seek out a godly man to walk with you. If you are one of those older, godly men – ask God for an opportunity to mentor another younger husband.

Remember – the goal is progress, not perfection.



About Rob

Married to my high school sweetheart for 40 years. Blessed to be a frequent speaker at marriage and men's conferences, retreats and seminars. Author of 4 books on marriage. Check out resources at

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