The “S” Word

It’s hard enough to read in Ephesians 5 that husbands are to love their wives “as Christ loved the church”, but just four verses earlier we are told to “submit to each other in reverence to the Lord”. I get the whole submit to your husbands thing. That sounds like a good idea God had. But, what’s all this about both of us submitting to each other, and out of reverence/respect/honor to the Lord?

I also know the Word says the husband is “the head of the wife” and that the wife should “submit to the husband in all things”. That all makes sense. But, this one little verse stuck in here doesn’t seem to fit. What about leading? Someone’s got to make a decision around here, or we’ll just go around in circles.

Italian or Mexican? I don’t care, what do you want? Where to we want to vacation this year? How should we spend our tax refund? There are thousands of decisions to be made every week, every month. What if neither of us cares? “Whatever you want is fine with me, honey”.

Maybe it has to do with attitude. Maybe it refers to Jesus “humbling Himself even unto the point of death”. He still loves and leads the church, but was willing to lay down His life – right?

What do you think? What does this look like at your house? How do you do it? Help us out here…..

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About Rob

Married to my high school sweetheart for 40 years. Blessed to be a frequent speaker at marriage and men's conferences, retreats and seminars. Author of 4 books on marriage. Check out resources at allinmariage.org.

One response to “The “S” Word

  1. Brian of Newton

    This is a great question. One I’d love to sit around with men I respect and kick around. How do we make submit to each other jive with wives submit to your husbands. I think for me the pendulum has swing too far too often in the “just follow me” direction. A willingness to listen, to yield to her preferences, and to put her first in everyday life, I think is the idea here. Not to be confused with never taking a stand in the moments that really count: setting a Godly course for our family, dealing with threats to the family welfare, etc; There’s a night and day difference between putting her first, and knowing when it’s time to lead and protect. Knowing the difference is the key.

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